Tuesday, July 07, 2009
was watching a show which played a girl's childhood pictures..she was at the beach, holding a drink etc..and she was always smiling.
then it reminded me..the only picture i ever smiled in when i was young was my baby picture. from age of 1-about 4 i never smiled anymore. only when i entered kindergarden did i smile again.
is that what they call 'subconscious mind'? that i was affected by my parents' divorce and the turmoil before that, without knowing it? when do kids start having memory? it seems that that part of my life was totally erased from my head. i cant really piece the things together, i cant really remember anything. the trigger point was a significant event that my mum thought enough was enough and all hell broke loose. what happened before that? how come i cant remember anything, or what i felt, and i never smiled?
is it really best to forget? do people really subconsciously forget unhappy past?thought that only happens in movies.
should i get back my memories, even though that might mean trauma?
Just The Girl @
11:39 AM
It was tiring to have 2 dinner and dances consecutively.
had great fun at pharmacy grad dinner. our table was hella noisy with my dear friends setting the atmosphere for the night. you girls rock man! after which we went to marriot hotel for a drink..shared cocktails, learnt afew new and interesting games and realised i cant coordinate for nuts. lolz. will cherish this group of non-judging friends for life!
second dnd was a mess. work was not delegated properly, tables overflowing, programme was not all that fun, and no dance! then the night ended early and EVERYONE went home. dots. what kind of dnd is that! i had expected to stay out laaaaaate. =(
perhaps the first dnd set too high a standard for the second. perhaps the first dnd's programme was not that great afterall. i think it was just the company..the 'dare to speak and shout as and when you like' girls we had on our table.
since when did ska's dnd become so foreign and boring? more than half the people there were strangers.
Just The Girl @
11:34 AM
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Repeat after me: Italy is boring boring boring..
yupz, just got back from 2 weeks of hols in italy. went to namely milan, venice, naples, and rome.
milan was a shopping paradise.venice was good makan place (we had our best spaghetti there) naples was a load of rubbish cuz we kept losing our way in the mountains, and they absolutely wasted their nice waters by not having snorkelling activities-you gotta rent your own boat and that costs 80 euros for an hour..rome was full of churches again..and the vatican.
so there you are..pizza, spaghettis, lotsa gelato and cuppacinos.
some interesting things i noticed about their lifestyle there
1) you can cheat the government by not paying for bus rides (for security reasons i'm not gonna mention how much i saved by doing that..lol)
2) their buses and trains hardly have the handles that drop down from the bar above. why? cuz majority of their people are tall enough to reach the bar anyway.
3) graffiti is their way of life. they have many michael fays roaming free there.
omg this entry was halfway done and left dangling for sooo long.
basically, you see 1 church, you've seen it all. the trevis fountain was nice, cuppacino so so, pizza depending on location, spaghetti..neh! except for that special one we had in venice. and we kept thinking it was at milan so we painstakingly walked so much before we finally realised we could have looked at the pictures to help us recall where it was..and hmm..you could have imagined how angry and disappointed we felt to find out that it was actually at venice, not milan. we had been looking forward to that plate of seafood spaghetti the entire trip!
the world is such an exciting place. i'm really quite convinced that its very much more exciting to be a cabin crew than a pupil pharmacist, though the latter is a respectable (but not as highly paid) profession. lolz. facts arent pretty, but to do some justice, its really a challenge to handle a pharmacy, and you learn hell lot of things. way to go. 6 day week, average of one to two 3 hour tutorials per week, plus 95 reports to do in 9 months. lets stock up on multivits. *poot*
Just The Girl @
2:30 PM
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
hmm having a dilemma whether to set up a blogshop online. competition is too tight. but i think its a good way to start my own petty business for interest.
thinking of setting up a shop to sell some handcrafts and jewellery, products like laneige, skin food, and exclusive key chains etc from other countries (like hello kitty from japan). any opinions from my readers?
Just The Girl @
10:48 PM
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
What can make you give up your baby pillows which you have been hanging on for the last 20 yrs, with all your tears, sweat etc.
a cockroach.
even my hubby cant make me give it up, but a cockroach did. felt something crawling and woke in shock. then refused to sleep for the next 2 hours and still apprehensive when approaching the bed 2 hours later. and i saw it there AGAIN. gosh this is the most disgusting thing ever. and that stupid idiot crawled all over my stuff toys (my babies) now i gotta send all for dry washing which some cant because they have some cute sound system inside. i killed it, but somehow am stil not satisfied at its fate. i'm just letting it off too lightly for the traumas it has caused me and my babies.
gosh. i cant imagine sleeping without the smell of my baby pillows but i think sentiments will end here. this is like the ultimatum.
hai i am so grieved now to part with my beloved pillows but there is no other way i think. haiz..20 yrs of relationship down the drain.
i can never find a commercial pillow of that suitable height to fit my neck and my pillows will never smell the same or carry the thoughts of my grandma who made them anymore. gosh i am so sad now i feel like crying.
=(
time for a bath.
Just The Girl @
5:08 AM
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
it was valentines day and we went to bintan for our 4th anniversary..partially cuz there was a NS outing on vday (can you imagine?!) and my bf was pretty unhappy about it..so we decided to err..elope. hah..
anyway i skipped school that friday, thanks to my friends who volunteered to lend me lecture notes. lolz..we took the 1230 ferry. slept through and brought along my vday present- a PSP! hehe..then we gamed all the way. oh i played streetfighter till my finger cramp. and i still lost most of the time. lousy pok.
bintan was ex and not really enjoyable. we basically just lazed around and enjoyed the laid back life. ate mee bakso too..but after that we both got diarrhea cuz it was roadside store. the hotel area was pretty rundown and the most grand place was their 2 storey KFC. ya..it was that pathetic. the snorkelling was a disappointment. there were no fish (unless you are talking about those black and normal ones, which are few and far between) and the water is so damn dirty. the banana boat was good though. apparently my bf laughed his guts out when i was thrown off the boat. and he got his retribution later when i laughed back at him. hah! oh gosh it had been some time (since sec sch cheering days) that i screamed so loudly! SHIOK.
so here are the pictures....
Just The Girl @
10:51 PM
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Sighs this proves to be a sucky sucky year to graduate. jobs are sparse and hard to find. really gotta work in macs?
my kicks are bloody slow now..think i'm losing it. but i will catch up again somehow, even if i leave competitive karate.
went for guardian interview today. portrayed a more commercial side of me which is interested in operations and got the offer. quite surprised that i could answer those clinical questions without much thinking. but lady luck was shining on me i guess. thank God.
its been long since i publicly set my goals and visions. i think its good to do that, because when you do, there is pressure to fufil it, and you will most likely do so. also, you will get constant reminders from friends who have read your blog. and they wont ask the same old silly questions like 'how are you' 'what have you been up to'...if they do you can just reply 'hey look at my blog!'
ha i'm getting crappy. but honestly at this juncture i think its very difficult to state my goals. i have never been so unplanned before. from not wanting to do prereg, to maybe i should do prereg to placate mum's effort, from enough studying to explore studying overseas, from want to join sia to no hope le. (cuz sia not recruiting and i got a scar on my lower arm from karate. a girl scratched me during training)
everything is so so uncertain. but i guess when the boat reaches the bridge (pls translate), everything will be straight. it will all work out. i have been lucky so far, quoting what shannon said. have been lucky to be healthy, to have opportunities to study, just simply to be still living.
its just the start of the yr and i'm so stressed already. thanks darling for being there when i need you, especially with all the undue pressure from mum and no one understanding why i dont want to do prereg, and no one supporting my decisions. you know sometimes you know that what you want to do is a silly idea, and you know you shouldnt, but the simple and rash side of you just wants to, and you want someone to support you though you already know from the start that its not the wisest choice?
pple always say keep your options open. things like working as a cosmetic counter girl, or even as a waitress is keeping my options open isnt it? why be so realistic, where did all the child-likeness go to? have adults completely lost them? does that mean once you reach adulthood you should forget what it feels like to daydream, discuss about impossibilities, and simply think of just doing the impossible or unaccepted?
remember how we were young we din like to brush teeth? remember how we acted out power rangers in pri sch? remember imagining you are the doctor to your soft toys? remember giving names to stuff toys and talking to them?
i think everyone deserves to retain their childlikeness even when they grow old.
lets embrace that side of us. the world is complicated and serious enough it wouldnt hurt to be short of an adult mind for afew hours.
Just The Girl @
10:35 PM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
do people sometimes forget who is comparatively important to them? if the person is really important would you ever forget?
Sometimes they dont intentionally hurt you but they do. What do you do then?
I am so upset i dunno what to type and i dont want to say anything anymore. Gifts are not a replacement.
Just The Girl @
8:45 PM
