tsunamin

A learning journey

2011-11-16T21:19:00.002+08:00

Life is a learning journey. Today I discovered several things about myself.

People make the same mistakes again and again. It may come as different forms but they all stem from a core issue (i wouldnt say its a prob cuz it's just how you view it)

When you realise history repeating itself, esp if you dont like it, it's time to review why.

I personally used the enneagram to analyse myself today. I planned for an activity lovingly, but things didnt turn out as i planned. then i started to think (i mean, overthink), and then i started to play the 'not fair' game...feeling like i'm the only idiot who set aside time and effort. But the truth is, when someone doesnt speak it, doesnt mean he doesnt think it or plan it. From my relaxed enneagram number 2 (loving), i went into my stressed self number 5 (thinker), then back to my normal self number 8 (challenger)-thats when i feel things are unfair, and started trying to challenge and bring 'justice' to the situation.

Also found out that i'm a vedic moon in virgo recently. Such pple are anal and have high standards of self and others. but who is to judge what is the standard? as a famous saying goes, just cuz you dont get what you want, doesnt mean that your loved ones love you any less. maybe it's time i take a breather, and a step back..to realise that one may be giving 100%, though it may not be what i expect.

I have concluded that a pure heart with a genuinely good intention, giving a 100% percent is almost enough. Topped with icing of wanting continuous self improvement, and one's own fighting spirit.

2011-08-14T18:50:00.001+08:00

A marriage is a contract. If two are in love, why is there a need for a contract to bind them together? If one cheated on the other and decided to stay together because of a contract, is it love? If you know of an old couple who has been married for the last 50 years, would you think that they truly love each other? If you know of an old couple who stayed together for the last 50 years without marriage, wouldn’t you think that the latter couple is DEFINITELY much more in love than the former?

Marriage and love are mutually exclusive. Love can exist without marriage and marriage can be kept without love.

If you want to know if a person is available, don’t ask if he/she is married. Ask if he/she is in love.

-got this from a friend..she read it on a blog. enjoy! =)

Newton was a psychologist

2011-01-08T20:17:00.002+08:00

Little did many know that our dear Isaac Newton (yes, the one who studied falling apples) was a psychologist too. Here's why.

Newton's first law states that without a net force, an object will remain stationary if it was stationary, and will continue moving if it was moving in the first place. The law of inertia.

How often have you felt inertia about doing something, but once you start on it, you can't stop? this can include eating popcorns, exercising, and yes, even working. yes, workaholics, that's you.

Newton's second law states that if there is an uneven force, there is an acceleration or deceleration. Many a time we go cruising along our lives, till we experience a setback, till someone gives us a push..then we change the speed of things..eg demise of a workaholic who dedicated their entire life to the company slows us down in our conquest to climb the corporate ladder...a nasty comment from someone causes us to reflect and 'do something' about our current 'pathetic' position.

Newton's third law states that with every action, there is a reaction. This one is easy. try punching some stranger on the street. you will understand why.

Salutez to Newton.

the long winding road

2010-12-22T21:40:00.002+08:00

Spent 2.5 hours talking to an insurance trainer yesterday..almost convinced to join the business, to earn for my uni fees.. but just gonna state two big reasons why I decided not to, in the end.

1) 40 compulsory hours to be clocked at my current full time job, plus another 30 hours to be clocked at the insurance company is a killer. Its not that i'm unwilling to work long hours. i'm a certified workaholic, but having been thru the workaholic phase, i know i need my sports and sleep to be happy, and fufilled.

2) still not really 100% comfortable with the concept of the large cut of commission i will get as an insurance. Also, even if i do well and earn enough for the year, the agent whom i pass my portfolios to, will be the one subsequently benefiting for the rest of the years that the contract is on.

So, yes, as much as i really want to study overseas and need the cash badly, i still decided against it. for my own mental and physical health, and my conscience. Choose to refute it if you wish. but that's how i think for now, and i'm a taurus.

one full day of research on universities today and i came to a big conclusion. frustrated that all the criminal psychology courses are either too expensive (because they are all in the states, or UK and they literally 'slaughter' foreigners with the high tuition fees), or they are not where i want to resident. also, in the US, where all pharmacists are all high and mighty with a pharmD, there is no way i can make use of my degree to get licenced there and earn for my next degree.

Even in Canada, where I am aiming to resident, the fees are exorbitant for foreigners. the only solution i can think of, is to do my masters in pharmacy in a low-cost quiet university there, preferably under partial scholarship, while getting my pharmacy licence, then get my residency, take on a career as a pharmacist there while studying my true passion: criminal psychology.

Been aiming at this course since i was 16..but 8 years later, I am a pharmacist still yearning for the course. The road is long and winding, with many many things, and maybe even relationships i give up along the way..but my love for studying and staying overseas..is too great for me to give up. I honestly wish there could just be some kindhearted soul who will sponsor. in my dreams maybe? haha.

Money is not everything, but it's important. but so are other things in life. Hence, i believe that although i will be taking a really long winding, and maybe lonely road, that i will see many things and experience many things many do not have the chance to see.

cheers to the marathon to come.

Life is a journey. A long one indeed. =)

2010-12-15T17:33:00.002+08:00

'I didn’t fail that day because I had already
reconciled myself to failure, and I didn’t
suffer because I had decided that I had
already suffered enough.'

Read this from an athlete's account. Thought it was intriguing.

Acceptance is the key to living.

You would only have had a bad day if you said it was one. And not expecting too much of your day will make a bad day seemingly not so bad; and a good day, great.

Childhood revisited

2010-12-15T08:41:00.002+08:00

Was reading through my old blogs. Realised there are missing bits of my life that i forgot to update. One important milestone was a nightmare past revisited. and a chapter closed.

Met my blood brother, found out how he was doing, mutually agreed to not keep in contact, and am surprised at how easily i could let go of the past when it had always been bothering me, nagging at some corner of my heart.

Many a time, we try to avoid conflict, to avoid facing the music. But we realise that when we finally do, we created a mountain out of a molehill in the past, and we laugh at ourselves.

It was an impulse and a by-chance situation that I confronted my past. But i never once regretted it. Sometimes, i realise, people are simply looking for an official closure. No reasons, no explanations needed. Just to know what's going on, set a verdict and close the case, move on for good.

Have you any past which haunts you? Close it, before it closes in on you.

Never fully prepared

2010-12-15T08:13:00.002+08:00

Are you prepared for the exam?

Are you prepared for the race?

Are you prepared for the competition?

How many times have we, or do we hear this throughout our lives? Yet how many times do we confidently say 'yessss, we are prepared'?

Truth be told, we are never fully prepared. We can never be. Life is unexpected, and even so you think you are fully prepared, something, somewhere will pop up in the last minute and walaaa you are caught offguard. So what's my point?

Because we can never fully be prepared for something, the skill of thinking on the spot, and spontaneity is not a gift, but a crucial skill for survival.

More spontaneous and quick-minded people succeed, compared to those who spend sooo much time preparing. Dont blame them, or be envious. they probably spent time preparing the skill of quick-wit, or spontaneity compared to preparing materials. Of course, it would be good to have the best of both worlds, but many a time we can't, and hence need to prioritize.

Marathoners are given a tag to write encouragement words for the back of your shirt. next year, mine will be 'didn't train? so didn't 80% of us. JUST RUN, DAMN IT!'

2010-07-17T00:23:00.001+08:00

Determined and driven to excellence in all she does, Mindy tends to be very competitive. She is not afraid to "go for" what she desires or wants, and is willing to put forth the effort for success. Mindy is not afraid to challenge others in her quest to achieve her end goals, but she also respects position and authority and is not unnecessarily confrontational.

Neat and orderly, others usually see Mindy as practical. She needs adequate information to make decisions, and she will consider the pros and cons. She may be sensitive to criticism, and will tend to internalize her emotions. Mindy likes to clarify expectations before undertaking new projects, and she will follow a logical process to gain successful results.

Mindy prefers a rational and moderate approach when first entering new situations and tries to avoid extremes. She likes the company of others, but Mindy is equally comfortable spending a quiet evening alone. She is a realist who will always weigh her options before she makes a decision to move ahead.

Mindy doesn't care for routine and will often actively try to change monotonous situations. She tends to march to the beat of her own drum, and prefers to do things on her own so she can work at her own pace. Mindy is sometimes seen as being in a hurry to get where she is going since she tends to move quickly from one thing to the next.

Thoughts

2010-06-05T08:31:00.002+08:00

Here are some thoughts I was analysing during jogging yesterday.

I couldnt decide which is my first love, running or karate.

Then I linked it to men having second wives or mistresses. Let me analyse it for you.

How did that happen? having 2 loves.

1)some people, like me, chanced upon it(karate), tried it out, took it seriously and realised that they liked it.
2)some people found the first love monotonous/boring after awhile, and started looking for the second - the second need not be very interesting or different from the first, but its at least something new. In fact, they can be dangerously similar.
3)the second love has sth which the first love lacks(in the case of karate, its the adrenaline rush), which the person feels its important or exciting once in awhile.

No matter what the reason, there are always times we feel we love the second one better, but the good first one is always innate, there to stay.
No matter the reason, both requires lotsa time and effort, and once you decide to have a second love, the attention is split. There is no longer such thing as 100% so dont bullshit and say you can give 100% to either of the loves anymore.

As someone told me once: the new may be interesting but the old is gold.

Another told me: Mindy, all men are not decent.

I think both statements are true.

Dreamers

2010-06-03T10:19:00.001+08:00

Been awhile since I updated the blog. But due to some reminders from friends, have decided to do so.

Been about 3 weeks since I started dispensing medications alone. Ups and downs, customers who test your patience, and your knowledge. Getting along with colleagues is another trick. Was discussing with a friend yesterday. There are some who just cant be bothered, some which don’t mind helping, and others who are kaypoh and over enthusiastic. But all these people have something in them that’s worth learning. Sometimes it helps to think of what these 3 kinds of people would do in the situation you are in, then forecast the kind of consequences they will face, to help you decide on which action you want to take. Absorb the good, dump the bad, and you will be the winning combination or the 3-in-1.

Had a dream last night. Not sure if anyone could help interpret. Dreamt that I moved into a new house, a double height ceiling house which I have always dreamt of. Initially had to share the room with mum (which I haven’t done so in the last 15 yrs), but after awhile was able to have the room to myself. Wondered where to put my queen bed when all of a sudden, the sides of the room’s ceiling became single height. And only the middle of the room was still a double height ceiling. Hence I decided to put my bed right smack in the middle of the room though it was abit inconvenient, cuz I am afraid of enclosed areas. Also felt that the wardrobes placed at the side of the walls were kinda short and wanted a full length built-in one. Any meaning to this one?

I think I should blog my dreams more often. They are always so vivid and I can remember details of them. Realised I am consciously thinking and making decisions in the dream - that’s what amazes me. Look at the way I analysed the dreamy, yet so thought-processed situation above.

Citibank never sleeps. Big deal. So does our brain.

Its been a long time

2010-04-08T08:22:00.002+08:00

Time flies. Soon, I will be come a full-fledged pharmacist. Passed my exams, pple! lolz. Not sure why I am still blogging. The important people that I want to meet and keep in contact with, I would say I make an effort to update myself about their lives and vice versa already.

The past 10.5months have had many many ups and downs. Learnt and seen many new things, changed mentalities, matured (not old but matured ok), built some solid friendships, lost afew too.

Something happened recently to a friend's dad. Makes me realise that life is so fragile. really so fragile. One moment you can be happily talking next moment you are bed ridden. it doesnt have to be you. just one family member who kena the tragedy will cause your world to be topsy turvy. the more family members you have, the higher the chance of such topsy turvies. however, the less you have, the more topsy turvy your world will be when such happens because you have no one else to give the moral support that the person needs.

Burnout. What is that? enjoying life too much can be a form of burnout too. physical burnout vs mental. I might be on my way there. so could you or many other people around you. so, always stop to listen. afterall whats life without making a difference in another's?

You do not get what you want all the time. but sometimes not getting what you want forces you out of your comfort zone. trying something new may make you realise that there might be something else better out there. what you initially wanted may not be what you really want afterall, and that because you din get what you thought you wanted, you found something that you liked better. hence, we should learn to go with the flow. fight for things you want, but when you dont get it, let it go. sometimes its better to let life take its course, and thank God for what you are 'accidentally' given. My life has been a good example. Not getting many things I wanted but in the end, discovered many other small things and learnt to appreciate life along the way.

This reminds me of a bible verse i read sooo long ago. i dont even know where it is from now.. jeremiah i think.

'For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you'

Keep the faith.

peace

2010-02-12T20:21:00.002+08:00

was just watching a channel 8 drama (hurry go buy 4d cuz mindy hardly ever watches tv).. it was showing this couple who divorced but stay together with the kids, just in separate rooms.

son: mummy and daddy why dont you two sleep together anymore?
mummy: its because....
daughter: do you like (the boy's friend's name)?
son: no i hate him!
daughter: what will you do if your teacher forces you to sit with him?
son: i will pick a fight with him.
daughter: thats right. mummy and daddy dont like each other anymore. so if you force them to be together they will only fight. now that they stay in different rooms everyone is happier.

WOW. this is not about a couple who forces themselves to stay together for the sake of the children, blaming their fate to have married the wrong person.

i view it as a couple who still loves each other, cant live together as a couple, but stay under one roof as friends, not forgetting their responsibility as parents.

hence one should be firm about what they want and dont want, yet forgive and smile that things happened and continue to live harmoniously.

any opinions?

Happy 2010~

2010-01-01T14:15:00.002+08:00

happy 2010 everyone! its a brand new yr! go sit somewhere and have a cuppa coffee and write your resolutions if you haven't.

in your resolutions pls include people you want to meet, and keep in touch with..things you want to achieve etc etc..

dump those useless schedules and make time for those that really matter. 80% of your happiness stems from 20% of the things you do.

its been a great yr last yr..this yr will be even more fufilling!

love all my friends! you, you, you and yes you too! lala.. =)

memories

2009-12-27T12:19:00.003+08:00

might be a coincidence but realised i received two photo frames with pictures inside, for xmas.

One from Ash..she gave each of the sisters a photo of her with them..personalised and full of thought.

the other from edwin. he gave each prereg a photo frame with their name design on it, which holds the picture of the United 11 (our batchmates and colleagues)

realised that its important to keep these memories.. they tell your story, your journey, your life.

Next project? clean up my room after PSS board exam.. and redecorate it, including many photoframes all over the wall! *woot* =D

impromptus

2009-12-27T00:36:00.002+08:00

life is short, unexpected, exciting, full of impromptus.. lets start from xmas eve.

after wedding dinner, was an impromptu salsa party..interesting pple watching.

today, an impromptu accompaniment to another wedding dinner. 530 received a call, met at 7pm.

exciting, but kinda tiring. anymore surprises? lolz =)

new insights on work relations

2009-12-24T00:00:00.003+08:00

afew days ago, i heard a superior say 'its ok if the staff cant work that well, so long as she gets along well with the other staffs'.

today, i see another theory that i learnt in primary school in practice. and that is the ideal leadership is attained when the staff follows you because they want to, not because they have to.

i was asked over the phone to check pricing (a mundane thing that happens all the time), while another customer comes head on to ask me about medicines, and there seemed to be a long queue behind all of a sudden. thank goodness i had a staff nearby, whom i politely asked to help me complete the mundane chore. it was a mundane chore, but it was one that made me realise how important it is to have staff to work for you because they want to, not because they have to.

in the past i used to be results oriented. making sure that results are delivered by the deadline, and not bothering too much about individual. now, however, i try to build rapport with each and every staff, to know them personally.

there are many different kinds of people. some may not get along well with each other. but knowing what makes them tick, and bringing out their enemies' (fellow colleague) good point can help in work dynamics between staff.

results can be attained by top achievers. and top achievers can be trained, if they have the basic qualities(though some needs more time than others). now the question is: how to retain those top achievers, and how to attract those top achievers who are not in your company YET.

yes, top achievers that you trained may leave, but with a good company culture and a personal touch and care and concern, there will be many waiting to replace those who leave.

well, to me, retaining and attracting workers has alot to do with the boss. at least 60% i reckon. so let's get personal.

any thoughts?

giving up

2009-12-16T23:15:00.002+08:00

have you ever regretted giving something up?

why do people give things up? because they know they cant make it? because they tried and tried but are tired?

how many times do we give something up, after assumingly evaluating again and again that we tried and tried and are tired, and that we will never succeed, only to rethink carefully and logically after giving up, that actually we could have made it if we hanged in there longer, if we took a step back to evaluate things better..

does that mean we never give up? but if we never give up, we will never be able to reflect upon it as a 3rd party, and will never be able to realise what went wrong. regret will be evident, but i guess if it is exchanged for wisdom, and a change for the better, it will be worth it.

people say 'do not regret'. but how many a time do we stand by that when we are the ones involved?

dont try to be strong

2009-12-15T10:40:00.003+08:00

yesterday i offered to be someone's rock. but the person told me 'i am the rock myself'.

with setbacks and difficulties in life, we are constantly eroded and worn out. one rock alone is easily worn down if it does not have the support of other rocks. when birds fly in a 'V' formation, they take turns to lead in front where the wind resistence is higher. we all tire out and need to take the back seat at times. those lone migration of birds in cartoons are bullshit.

so dont be too fast to insist that rocks dont need other rocks. the truth is, they do. that's only human.

time flies

2009-12-14T23:49:00.001+08:00

-5th happy day-

Its been 4 months

2009-12-05T21:42:00.002+08:00

the blog sorta died together with the relationship.

been afew months yet stil nostalgic.

are he thinking of me as i think of him too? a tinge of sadness, missing, and wondering how the other party is getting on?

in life, some scars cannot be erased. if we could start it all over again i would have done many things very differently. if we met later, things might work out. the feelings were right, but the timing was not.

these 4 months has been torturous, eventful, exciting..full of sooo many ups and downs..felt lost so many times. picked myself up, fell; laughed, cried; gave up, tried again.

in such a short span of time, i sprained my back 3 times. gave up marathon, grading and competition. cant exercise, ate as much..gained 7kg..stayed up real late..destroyed my skin and health..shopped too much..quite broke..found a direction to excel in sports, hopes dashed, trusted in friendships, only to be disappointed in some.

but despite it all, i have learnt many things, seen many points of views, matured in my own way.

i guess this is what you call 'growing up'.

i need to learn more. been overly sheltered.

status? single, unavailable.

cheers to the route of self discovery.

Jia you Mindy. =)

2009-09-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

Bittersweet memories that I want to treasure forever.

Flutters and heartaches that I feel even now that his scent is no longer near.

May I step out afresh without fear,

Yet, always keeping him so dear.

sick

2009-07-16T21:34:00.002+08:00

I am not feeling well..some bug going around in the shop..everyone's falling sick. sighs.

difficult to swallow rice etc..then added hot water to rice..and missed my grandpa alot. because i remember he was the one who taught me to do that when i was young and had no appetite. he said just add hot water and pretend you are drinking water and finish it. surprisingly it tasted delicious and i always did that when i couldnt finish my meal and grandma was on the verge of flaring up. would just pour in water..and gobble it down without chewing. lolz. it's been long. and i miss him. =(

stil sob whenever i think of grandpa but i guess i should channel energy into pampering grandma instead. i want to treasure those close to me..and love them unconditionally.

it sucks to be sick without being able to take mc. and no one to look after you, or cook for you. lucky got grandma to pamper me with her cooking else i will be malnourished.

appreciative. and blessed. =)

sad childhood

2009-07-07T11:39:00.002+08:00

was watching a show which played a girl's childhood pictures..she was at the beach, holding a drink etc..and she was always smiling.

then it reminded me..the only picture i ever smiled in when i was young was my baby picture. from age of 1-about 4 i never smiled anymore. only when i entered kindergarden did i smile again.

is that what they call 'subconscious mind'? that i was affected by my parents' divorce and the turmoil before that, without knowing it? when do kids start having memory? it seems that that part of my life was totally erased from my head. i cant really piece the things together, i cant really remember anything. the trigger point was a significant event that my mum thought enough was enough and all hell broke loose. what happened before that? how come i cant remember anything, or what i felt, and i never smiled?

is it really best to forget? do people really subconsciously forget unhappy past?thought that only happens in movies.

should i get back my memories, even though that might mean trauma?

2 grad dinners

2009-07-07T11:34:00.004+08:00

It was tiring to have 2 dinner and dances consecutively.

had great fun at pharmacy grad dinner. our table was hella noisy with my dear friends setting the atmosphere for the night. you girls rock man! after which we went to marriot hotel for a drink..shared cocktails, learnt afew new and interesting games and realised i cant coordinate for nuts. lolz. will cherish this group of non-judging friends for life!

second dnd was a mess. work was not delegated properly, tables overflowing, programme was not all that fun, and no dance! then the night ended early and EVERYONE went home. dots. what kind of dnd is that! i had expected to stay out laaaaaate. =(

perhaps the first dnd set too high a standard for the second. perhaps the first dnd's programme was not that great afterall. i think it was just the company..the 'dare to speak and shout as and when you like' girls we had on our table.

since when did ska's dnd become so foreign and boring? more than half the people there were strangers.

italy vs pharmacy

2009-06-04T14:30:00.003+08:00

Repeat after me: Italy is boring boring boring..

yupz, just got back from 2 weeks of hols in italy. went to namely milan, venice, naples, and rome.

milan was a shopping paradise.venice was good makan place (we had our best spaghetti there) naples was a load of rubbish cuz we kept losing our way in the mountains, and they absolutely wasted their nice waters by not having snorkelling activities-you gotta rent your own boat and that costs 80 euros for an hour..rome was full of churches again..and the vatican.

so there you are..pizza, spaghettis, lotsa gelato and cuppacinos.

some interesting things i noticed about their lifestyle there

1) you can cheat the government by not paying for bus rides (for security reasons i'm not gonna mention how much i saved by doing that..lol)

2) their buses and trains hardly have the handles that drop down from the bar above. why? cuz majority of their people are tall enough to reach the bar anyway.

3) graffiti is their way of life. they have many michael fays roaming free there.

omg this entry was halfway done and left dangling for sooo long.

basically, you see 1 church, you've seen it all. the trevis fountain was nice, cuppacino so so, pizza depending on location, spaghetti..neh! except for that special one we had in venice. and we kept thinking it was at milan so we painstakingly walked so much before we finally realised we could have looked at the pictures to help us recall where it was..and hmm..you could have imagined how angry and disappointed we felt to find out that it was actually at venice, not milan. we had been looking forward to that plate of seafood spaghetti the entire trip!

the world is such an exciting place. i'm really quite convinced that its very much more exciting to be a cabin crew than a pupil pharmacist, though the latter is a respectable (but not as highly paid) profession. lolz. facts arent pretty, but to do some justice, its really a challenge to handle a pharmacy, and you learn hell lot of things. way to go. 6 day week, average of one to two 3 hour tutorials per week, plus 95 reports to do in 9 months. lets stock up on multivits. *poot*

blogshop?

2009-04-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

hmm having a dilemma whether to set up a blogshop online. competition is too tight. but i think its a good way to start my own petty business for interest.

thinking of setting up a shop to sell some handcrafts and jewellery, products like laneige, skin food, and exclusive key chains etc from other countries (like hello kitty from japan). any opinions from my readers?

GROSSED OUT

2009-03-31T05:08:00.003+08:00

What can make you give up your baby pillows which you have been hanging on for the last 20 yrs, with all your tears, sweat etc.

a cockroach.

even my hubby cant make me give it up, but a cockroach did. felt something crawling and woke in shock. then refused to sleep for the next 2 hours and still apprehensive when approaching the bed 2 hours later. and i saw it there AGAIN. gosh this is the most disgusting thing ever. and that stupid idiot crawled all over my stuff toys (my babies) now i gotta send all for dry washing which some cant because they have some cute sound system inside. i killed it, but somehow am stil not satisfied at its fate. i'm just letting it off too lightly for the traumas it has caused me and my babies.

gosh. i cant imagine sleeping without the smell of my baby pillows but i think sentiments will end here. this is like the ultimatum.

hai i am so grieved now to part with my beloved pillows but there is no other way i think. haiz..20 yrs of relationship down the drain.

i can never find a commercial pillow of that suitable height to fit my neck and my pillows will never smell the same or carry the thoughts of my grandma who made them anymore. gosh i am so sad now i feel like crying.

=(

time for a bath.

Boring Bintan

2009-03-03T22:51:00.004+08:00

it was valentines day and we went to bintan for our 4th anniversary..partially cuz there was a NS outing on vday (can you imagine?!) and my bf was pretty unhappy about it..so we decided to err..elope. hah..

anyway i skipped school that friday, thanks to my friends who volunteered to lend me lecture notes. lolz..we took the 1230 ferry. slept through and brought along my vday present- a PSP! hehe..then we gamed all the way. oh i played streetfighter till my finger cramp. and i still lost most of the time. lousy pok.

bintan was ex and not really enjoyable. we basically just lazed around and enjoyed the laid back life. ate mee bakso too..but after that we both got diarrhea cuz it was roadside store. the hotel area was pretty rundown and the most grand place was their 2 storey KFC. ya..it was that pathetic. the snorkelling was a disappointment. there were no fish (unless you are talking about those black and normal ones, which are few and far between) and the water is so damn dirty. the banana boat was good though. apparently my bf laughed his guts out when i was thrown off the boat. and he got his retribution later when i laughed back at him. hah! oh gosh it had been some time (since sec sch cheering days) that i screamed so loudly! SHIOK.

so here are the pictures....

sucky year

2009-02-26T22:35:00.002+08:00

Sighs this proves to be a sucky sucky year to graduate. jobs are sparse and hard to find. really gotta work in macs?

my kicks are bloody slow now..think i'm losing it. but i will catch up again somehow, even if i leave competitive karate.

went for guardian interview today. portrayed a more commercial side of me which is interested in operations and got the offer. quite surprised that i could answer those clinical questions without much thinking. but lady luck was shining on me i guess. thank God.

its been long since i publicly set my goals and visions. i think its good to do that, because when you do, there is pressure to fufil it, and you will most likely do so. also, you will get constant reminders from friends who have read your blog. and they wont ask the same old silly questions like 'how are you' 'what have you been up to'...if they do you can just reply 'hey look at my blog!'

ha i'm getting crappy. but honestly at this juncture i think its very difficult to state my goals. i have never been so unplanned before. from not wanting to do prereg, to maybe i should do prereg to placate mum's effort, from enough studying to explore studying overseas, from want to join sia to no hope le. (cuz sia not recruiting and i got a scar on my lower arm from karate. a girl scratched me during training)

everything is so so uncertain. but i guess when the boat reaches the bridge (pls translate), everything will be straight. it will all work out. i have been lucky so far, quoting what shannon said. have been lucky to be healthy, to have opportunities to study, just simply to be still living.

its just the start of the yr and i'm so stressed already. thanks darling for being there when i need you, especially with all the undue pressure from mum and no one understanding why i dont want to do prereg, and no one supporting my decisions. you know sometimes you know that what you want to do is a silly idea, and you know you shouldnt, but the simple and rash side of you just wants to, and you want someone to support you though you already know from the start that its not the wisest choice?

pple always say keep your options open. things like working as a cosmetic counter girl, or even as a waitress is keeping my options open isnt it? why be so realistic, where did all the child-likeness go to? have adults completely lost them? does that mean once you reach adulthood you should forget what it feels like to daydream, discuss about impossibilities, and simply think of just doing the impossible or unaccepted?

remember how we were young we din like to brush teeth? remember how we acted out power rangers in pri sch? remember imagining you are the doctor to your soft toys? remember giving names to stuff toys and talking to them?

i think everyone deserves to retain their childlikeness even when they grow old.

lets embrace that side of us. the world is complicated and serious enough it wouldnt hurt to be short of an adult mind for afew hours.

Lee Jady is an ass

2008-12-11T20:45:00.003+08:00

do people sometimes forget who is comparatively important to them? if the person is really important would you ever forget?

Sometimes they dont intentionally hurt you but they do. What do you do then?

I am so upset i dunno what to type and i dont want to say anything anymore. Gifts are not a replacement.

experience on the mrt

2008-09-25T23:19:00.002+08:00

i must blog this down man. it's been a long time since mum took a train ever since she got a car, so since F1 is on, and roads may be jammed, i decided to bring her on her first mrt trip after sooo long (she has a car)..

going there was ok. food was good at kyoshinbo..then we met 2 ladies at next table and had a good time chatting about everything under the sun (how technology was in the past) hehe..coming back was the experience for mum.

it was so squeezy and mum was traumatized from rushing into the train at the north south line...then we alighted at dhoby ghaut..then waited for nel for like 15 mins cuz i think something happened. and the announcement kept apologising. then she INSISTED that it was because it was too crowded so the door kept opening and closing. and i assured her that this door had absolutely no sensor. it just smashes close on you. or your belongings..just like it did to my poor darling when he was helping me hold my newly bought boggle game..then we checked and lucky it wasn't broken. and he said something uncool against his cool appearance but thats a secret. heh

her reactions and my observations in the train was interesting today..she was obviously uncomfortable with so many pple so close to her. and i realised 3 very interesting phenomena.

you know there are some pple who are obviously too tall for the handle and feel that touching the ceiling is their choice of support, even when the train isn't really jerking much and small sized pple around him can balance, he just lifts his hand gloriously and spread the love from his armpit. i'm sure you have seen those pple before. hmm.

then you have those who talk as if the whole train is theirs and cant wait to spread the smell of their mouth thru the entire cabin. er...pls at least pop a mint first?

and you have pple who are damn irritating and refuse to move in when its so crowded and stil can open newspaper big big and read like they have damn alot of space?

last but not least couples who take the chance to squeeeeeeze together simply cuz it's 'just too crowded'.

hmm after we alighted mum said she refuses to take the train again. i guess i have this reason to point out whenever i want to borrow her car in future!

cheers pple. start observing the world around you. it's interesting.

KOTA KINABALU

2008-08-10T00:04:00.010+08:00

boo! long time no blog. seriously i wonder who still views my blog these days but anyway i wil just take it as a form of diary. hmm.

darling and i conquered mount kinabalu! omg..that damn mountain was like 4095m high and i'm stil aching from the climb. want to recover soon so can train again!

sabah was kinda fun. we took a bus up to johor, did some shopping, and had our pathetic kenny rogers. it was like 3 side dishes but the portion was really for puppies. bought our staple emergency food aka some choc cake...1 big pack inside got 24. eat til we sian. then cabbed to johor bahru senai airport and spent the night there before checking in for our flight which left the airport at 725. upon reaching, left our bags at the hostel cuz not time to check in yet, then go walk walk. then at night ate at some night market. loved their bakso which was some kind of beef..then their woohoo seafood.

here's candid shot of my dear

the pathetic kenny rogers

can you like look at the muffin size against the plate?!

my fav bakso!

the crab we ate. not fantastic. just cheap.

the fish we bought. cheap also. about sing dollars 10 bucks. drinks aka water included hah.

our puffed up potato chips when we are far above sea level. that's when physics come in and explain why..

not convinced it was puffed up? here's another clearer view.

a silly pic of my darling with mozzie wipes around his shirt like a baby. reason? he thinks it's not effective enough. looks so silly cuz he was sucking on some sweet.heh.

oh and this is me before the climb! =D

us at the entrance, not knowing what shit we enrolled ourselves for.

the caterpillar we saw. it's indian according to one of our indian friends. one can always recognise another of the same race so easily..

the squirrel that finally stopped sniffing my feet and running about when i threw it some of my apple.

the plant that eats insect. it secretes a scent which lures insect (very much like how seductress wear perfume to seduce guys) then it traps them and digest them with juices.go find it. i'm sure it was in our bio text in sec sch.

just the beginning of the torture.

view taken near laban rata, our lodge halfway up to prevent altitude sickness.

look at the clouds behind OMG.

another view of laban rata. one of my fav pics.

look at the slope...

finally reached the summit of course must take the sign as evidence la.

brr its cold

on our way down le. that was where we were..

actually that's not all but i'm tired so i'm gonna stop now. watch out for the next! so anti-climax huh. boo. ;p

food

2008-07-17T19:29:00.007+08:00

today's entry is mainly about food

these are the dishes mum, aunt, my darling and i had at some hongkong restaurant. blangahed by my darling! looks good eh..hhe

this is us celebrating our monthsary at new york new york. sorta regretted. the hot choc is damn good. their spaghetti not bad also..the cream is not ni4. hehe. oh ya we were playing wrestling at the table..then fought over the bill..then it tore. HAHA

oh last but not least some food that mum cooked. it's salmon, mushroom soup, and salad. doesnt look good but it tastes not bad! =)

thats all folks! =D

smart vs stupid men

2008-06-10T20:00:00.002+08:00

smart man marries stupid woman = stupid man
stupid man marries smart woman = stupid man
smart man marries smart woman = smart man
stupid man marries smart woman = smart man

as you see, whether a man is smart or not depends on his woman.

happy birthday to me!

2008-05-26T20:41:00.002+08:00

boo! long time no update! this blog will be a tribute to those to remembered my bday. first being my darling...by 'accident' i should say. he was sleeping halfway then his phone buzzer rang cuz he programmed my bday into reminder. then he woke in shock thinking it was time to wake and rush to the airport for his flight..then e realised what it was and smsed me! boo!

then to royston, yanzhi, huising, sheryl, yuwei, josh, zhiyuan, yong teng, nigel ho, nigel tan...piak me if you are inside the list but i forgot ok? i think i missed out one or two but i have quite bad memory leh. but if your name not here yet...resist the urge to whack me till you finish the blog...

special thanks to my dear who bullied me then suddenly popped out a 'happy birthday'! that was sweet. thanks dy! love yoU! =) oh not to forget the ddr wii he bought cuz i'm always too paiseh to try it at the arcade-apparently cuz i think i'm too light the floor cant register my stepping. but anyway i still stick to the value that i cant dance. poot.

hmm..then thanks to mummy who celebrated my bday last min at aunt's house, and thanks to jessica, my pretty cousin who made a pretty card for me-addressed to hui shan jie jie. and doctor aunt too! for her handmade card and butterfly earrings..so cute right! and thanks for my 4th aunt and her in-laws for staying up to celebrate with me after training. and their ang pows...haha. and of course to my dearest dearest mummy who gave me another butterfly pendant. muacks!

thanks go my nus friends who made an effort to arrange a meet up and come down all the way from changi hospital to meet me for dinner at waraku. thanks to pearlyn especially for organising the outing! and the black sundress they bought for me!

thanks to angela who sent me a sweet bday card and present thru the mail, all the way for shanghai. come back soon girl!

thanks to chengxun for calling me all the way from aussie, to wish me happy bday! but i was at preceptorship so i couldnt pick up..sorry dude. but thanks! appreciate that you remembered. =)

thanks to my church friends who bluffed me to a donut party at munpun's then later, celebrating my bday. it was such a shock! thanks mun pun for bringing the chocs all the way from aussie! it was thoughtful!

such a beautiful series of birthday celebrations. i'm really really blessed to have so many nice people around me! treasure you all!

happy belated bday to meee! =)

2008-05-14T20:32:00.000+08:00

Tom Jones on 6Lyrics.com

new findings

2008-05-05T22:16:00.004+08:00

Hungry? Get More Sleep.
Monday October 15, 2007
Sleep and obesity are closely linked. It's an endless cycle. People who don't get enough sleep, face changes in their blood chemistry that lead to an increased appetite. As they gain weight, they are more likely to suffer from sleep apnea and other sleep problems - causing an increase in appetite and more weight gain.

What happens is that during sleep leptin (a hormone that tells that brain you're "full") and ghrelin (the "hungry hormone") are regulated. If you don't have enough sleep, the balance between your "full hormone" (leptin) and your "hungry hormone" (ghrlein) becomes disrupted. In short - you have 18% less leptin and 28% more ghrlein when sleep is cut from 8 hours to 4 hours a night. This causes appetites to spike.

In one study, participants' sleep was cut back and they had a major spike (24%) in their cravings for sweets, cookies, chips and other snack foods.

If you are trying to lose weight, be sure that more sleep is part of your plan.

sighs..no findings on how come one can sleep so much and still be hungry all the time. someone help? is it zollinger-ellison's?

EXAMS ARE FINALLY HERE

2008-05-05T22:16:00.002+08:00

omg exams are finally here! what a long wait. seriously i would rather take 3 papers in a day and get it over and done with in 2 days. but i'm sure the rest of the classmates will protest.

i hate long study breaks. keep thinking you have time and drag to the last min. and then i will be at a damn disadvantage cuz i'm super lazy. and pple who are hardworking, or just plain hardworking will surpass me like crazy. hmph~

anyway it's been a long wait to my darling's return too. enjoyed gaming with him overseas...though cannot see each other but gaming together and continuing to suan each other over the game and stupid deaths we experienced felt like he is just two mrt stops away at his house gaming with me.

it was fun. we trained ytd, after which i came home to study one hour. *applause pls..ONE HOUR!* then after that we went met up, and i brought his gifts from overseas up, then we went amk to look for wii games and arcade! then wanted to eat the prata there but too late it was closed le. in the end came back to my downstairs coffeeshop to supper- prawn paste chicken plus shen1 mian4. $11.50 omg..

and today after my exam i went to teach tuition. my friends were like 'are you serious you still got mood for tuition?!' no choice leh. she also having exam ma. must help her. if not prepared to keep to your schedule of once per week during exam time then you better dont be tutor. after that was dinner at my house downstairs again. this time it's some big big, and i mean really big big omelete the size of the whole plate! inside got char siew, ONIONS (lots-urgh), spring UNIONs...not fantastic. then we had beef hor fun with super hot chili, and lastly you tiao with sigh paste and mayo..yummy! after which went to my house to put the groceries i bought..and off to amk again. this time to shop~! walked around got some nice and cheap shoes which i intend to buy for internship. comfy too! then went to eat our prata and a chicken that costs $4. wth man. haiz. teh halia there is $1.80 *faintz*

and finally to the arcade!!!! played house of the dead and then bball! omg guess what's my score? it's 225! not bad leh...*applause again pls* i'm good at the bball but my darling is fantastic at gunpoints. OMG bai fa bai zong! not a marksman for nothing. pei fu pei fu.

another day has passed. it's soon time for me to study like my classmates. OMG i'd better. lolz..

thanks darling for bringing me go gai gai!
oh how i love exams man. adrenalin rush....woohoo!

past week

2008-04-13T07:22:00.006+08:00

the past week was exciting. partially cuz it's the last week of school too.

wed was off for my darling! after lazing at his place for the whole day, we went for training. and after that supper at chomp chomp! we havent had such a late night date in a long time. so it was all nice..walking along the road and just chatting in the cool weather.

thurs was a self declared off too. we ran to toa payoh and back. it was a great run. yayyyy! and we went to eat crystal jade in our sweaty running attire! gosh. you should have seen the look on their face. my bf was like 'i feel like eating crystal jade', then i was like 'ok lor' then i said 'you dare i dare' then he replied 'you dare i dare' then i walked in..and he followed...COOL.but they put us at a corner of the restaurant...maybe cuz they din want us to stink the place. boo!

friday was the last day of school but it din really feel like the last day cuz we had test. after which we went training. and then he had meeting so i went out with mummy and aunt to some cafe at serangoon gardens. ordered 8 icecream mini scoops...8.90! so ex..and a main course 13++...but it was fun catching up with them.

saturday was fun too~! both tuitions cancelled. then i slept late and we went to catch 'forbidden kingdom' at 250. intended for the 150 show but seats sucked. oh have you tried milk soda? i bought it from cine-the korean shop downstairs. it's not bad! hmm..anyway after movie we went delifrance, which the service and foor sucked...din know what to eat and went all the way to bishan for this stupid meal. hmph so angry leh..my poor darling burn a hole in his pocket and keep wanting to doze off cuz the food was not nice and he was tired... =( well after that we went back to boon keng where we parted =( he headed home while i headed to geyland west cc to join mum and aunt and her friend to sing karaoke! got home slightly past midnight.. =(

sunday was the usual, violin lesson-which as usual my teacher asked how uch i practised. then training-which was good but the actual practice sparring match sucked partially cuz i'm too cooled down already. and then my cousin's bday! of which i caught up alot with aunt in law. and observed cousins play. nice day. we reached home pretty late too. and i had a headache and muscle aches cuz i din bathe after training. sucks. how come i fall sick so easily. then downed panadol. hai. you know something. if my tutorial is true, panadol works faster when you are standing up. dont ask why..the results showed that way. boo..

thats all folkies. thanks for reading! =D

changed plans!

2008-04-13T07:22:00.005+08:00

OMG i found new alternate plans for my future again! so excited! lolz...like forever got new things..life is so exciting! there is just so much to do! and so many things to excel in! =D

one life, live it. M1 is right.

disaster~

2008-04-13T07:22:00.004+08:00

i just created a disaster. =( sorries.........

JHN

2008-04-13T07:22:00.002+08:00

things said but not done.

and things said but felt differently.

how to trust or believe.

relections

2008-04-07T21:36:00.002+08:00

today i was on my way to driving lesson when i saw this old uncle on wheelchair at the AMK mrt underpass. it was only 8 in the morning and he was already asking pple to buy his tissue. suddenly i felt that these pple are not lazy and just want easy money, they do work hard too, or maybe just this uncle. and everyone is ignoring his pleas. just nice i had no tissue and my darling was gonna come school to lunch with me and maybe if we order something spicy his nose will run and i was in a charitable mood so i bought from him.

another reflection just recently. i saw an indian guy drinking. you know i hate drunkards and particularly dont have a good impression of indian drunkards, not because i'm racist but because they tend to be seen drunk in public, maybe because their threshold is high and they always overestimate? then again maybe they have many personal problems be it financial or family then they turn to alcohol.

but today my prejudice wasn't there. for once i saw good and bad in this indian guy drinking by the car park kerb. he looked abit dipsy but he was nowhere near violent. he looked reflective but there was a tinge of sadness and loneliness in his eyes. how could i have judged in the past just by the surface? suddenly i felt pity for him. is he a foreign worker, missing his family? or someone experiencing a tough time in his career?

at the same time i also admired him. how many pple nowadays would not care about image and sit by the roadside to drink, or even to chit chat with a friend? activities that we used to enjoy as small kids. playing in public, and just be who we are. but now everything is about 'saving face', 'status'. reminds me of my sec sch Amath teacher who squatts by the drain to call his wife. laugh as you may but i think that is really authentic and just doing what he really wants to do. how many of us can really just do what we want nowadays?

miss the childhood days? do away with the formalities. you will be forgiven.

i hate pimples

2008-04-07T21:36:00.001+08:00

damn it! i have a big big pimple right smack in the middle of my cheek. but at least it's not on the tip of my nose where i can see it all the time.

haha had a crazy imagination.

when those pple with dimples have a pimple right smack in the middle of their dimple, will it hurt when they smile? anyone thought of this before? is it possible to have a pimple right in that crater? hehe..tell me what you think! =D

updates

2008-04-01T22:42:00.000+08:00

whoa it's been long. since my previous update. nothing much happened recently, the most memorable being Giselle, the ballet play i watched with my clique on sunday night. we met at 5 at PS and i was slightly late..then went over to fort canning to chop place. the mats were pathetically small but we had 3 mats so it was ok..there was lotsa food. chicken, pizza (which was gross and half frozen still), cheese, kettle chips, nachos, chips with tuna, chocs, sushi, sandwich, and er...2 pathetic 1L fruit juice for like er 7 pple for er...3 hours?! omg girls you could have brought more juice leh. hehe.

anyway the play was good good good. the storyline was interesting. the dance was great. but i am stil amateur in appreciating ballet. in fact the last part where they kept dancing and dancing for arts sake and not story-line sake i was kinda bored. OMG. but guess what..ive decided to pick up basic ballet! for better posture and maybe grow a little more..their calves are comparable to mine. so i thought might as well use the muscles i have right..tsk tsk.

hmm i think shannon took quite afew photos but i've yet to get from her..so lets just leave this blog like that for now. stay tuned! haha.

these few days has been really bad. my darling's overseas and mum is working late everyday. i end up having to eat dinner, lunch, breakfast, everything myself. sometimes i can go without a word for like more than 12 hours. it's scary. i feel as though i'm non-existent. or that the whole world died except for me. scary. i need some company!!!!! =(

oh mummy surprised me with emi cakes' today. mousse cake! shall upload some pics of it. If you see carefully there are actually gummy bears on top! My fav white gummy bear! To prevent being too fat I shared one of it with my mum. Featured below. Hehe..

oh ya did I mention I ran 5km yesterday. Only to eat like 3 plates of nachos with melted cheese? And I ran again 1hour today (dunno how far), only to eat like 6 pieces of sushi and an agar agar after that. Haiyo…but like zhiyuan says should aim to run for fitness, not about the weight. But still hor…weight is important!!! Lolz.

Omg how I love running. After the run when I returned to classroom my friends were like ‘you look too happy today’. Wad a weird thing to say. It’s what you call runners high I think.

Oh and today the lecturer revealed that he saw my classmate and her bf (*ahem you know who you are if you are reading my blog) at the cinema…wahaha…next time I better choose an ulu cinema to go dating. Poot!

our shopping trip!!!!

2008-03-20T22:40:00.007+08:00

yesterday was a fun and memorable day. my dear came back from auckland on tuesday...it was an awful wait cuz it was weekend and i was relatively free and not so good things happened. boo.

we were supposed to meet at 1030 at his place...we woke early so shifted the time earlier..i missed my bus..then 135 came so i thought i would take this bus out to change a bus to his place...then i missed the crucial stop to stop! and so i ended up at the next stop (near maris stella) and had to walk out...and as i did, 133 was at the bus stop (i was waiting for 133 initially) DANG! haiz...then i took another bus to change another bus...it was complicated..but at the end we met..finally. then we went to look at the nearby hairdresser, where i cut my hair today..then halfway 133 passed again! thank goodness us both being athletes we could catch the bus in time though the bus stop was like 30m away.

so we got to bugis..and ate duck rice after some contemplation.then wanted to eat the dessert but it was closed...so we went to the arcade..then we played silent hill..which was some shooting game...quite fun and you live longer than house of the dead definitely. then we went to bugis street but many shops werent open so we decided to go back makan the dessert then arcade again. then finally back to bugis street for some real shopping...oh not to forget the small stalls at bugis itself.

but the ending was not good..i think i made my dear wait too long and was bugging him to give opinions so he just kept quiet and i got fed up so we just went back..but after makaning KFC at his house we were ok le. boo! love yoU!

fun fun day..but spent alot of money leh..about 100 bucks in all.haiyo...shopping kills...

a great day to be remembered...here are some photos taken.

new hairdo!

2008-03-20T22:40:00.004+08:00

I CUT MY HAIR! SO SMALL GIRL! but abit ugly though. =(

stupid day

2008-03-16T21:22:00.001+08:00

i promise myself that this will be the lousiest fight i have in my entire life. i promise.

sick again

2008-03-03T22:28:00.002+08:00

eh..i fell sick again...and i mean AGAIN!

last night runny nose..then insomnia..then today decreased immunity..then still was in school for so long...

haiz..i fall sick 99% the time i kena mouth ulcer. n everytime without fail is cuz i eat too fast, chew too hard then bit the side of my mouth. so much for being a pig..

doesn't help that mum is working late today and my dear is all the way in london and i have a test tomorrow. sucks to be alone at this kinda time. how nice it would be if i had a sibling to help look after me. always wanted an older brother..haiz.

it sucks being sick, and having to down medicines knowing they destroy your liver n kidney but still have to. it's like a necessary evil kinda thing.

so weird i'm like having goosepimples now..hehe..

get well sooon!!!

it's been a loong time..

2008-03-02T22:12:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i blogged...thought i should make it an effort since i'm so energetic now..hehe...

training recently has been woohoo! resistence training! tied stretchable ropes to the pole and to our belts and did all the punches etc with resistence. OMG it's been like 3 yrs since i last touched those...but the downside is blisters...the painful, damn memorable blisters came back as expected. man i should stop putting lotion on my feet before sleeping..gives smooth but useless, cannot tahan resistence training kind of feet..but hor, i dont like my skin to be thick leh...haiz...

oh did i mention my blisters were like 50cents big, with blood inside so when you poke it blood with pus just oozes out! and i can't walk properly! so my calves are aching from walking, not training, which is like a damn sad thing. i wish i could do more at training, but my skin is my limiting factor, not my muscles. WTH man.

my darling is on the plane to london! omg it's THE music place! must be beautiful there.i also want to go!!!!!

and i wan to grow taller taller taller till i reach the sky! hehez...joking la. anyone got any tricks? hmm.

competition is like 2 weeks away and i'm like still half a bucket of water (chinese proverb). man i lost all my skills cuz din really train tournament style. i need to buck up! heck the blisters for now i guess.

jia you jia you, you can do it mindy! you are a fighter! both a fighter for what you enjoy doing and want to do best, and a fighter literally.

everytime when it comes to competition i remember this sentence told to me : when you go into the ring, fight like you are prepared not to come down anymore.

such an extremist huh.lolz...but that's the spirit of a fighter! sad to say i'm not there yet leh. still got fear.

jia you!

ps my darling says if i can beat him someday i will be granted 3 wishes from him ANYTHING! haha..though it prob wont come true but there's no harm trying right? love you dear! =)

Happy new yr and valentines!

2008-02-14T12:53:00.002+08:00

i'm ageing. on new yrs eve i found a short strand of white hair on the left side of my head. so i thought i could play a game with my darling- ask him find my white hair..and so he tried..then he said...there it is..that long strand at the back of your head. -.- and so it is..i have 2 white hair. and i'm not gonna play this game ever again.

new yr was so so only. didnt really visit many family member so din get too much ang pows also..but i spent time with my darling! =)

today's valentines as well as our anniversary. but he is in india..orh moi gorsh. so sad. but we celebrated on sunday (i cooked risotto, or maybe it was some cheesy pasta) and then monday when we met he gave me a bouquet of roses and carnations! so sweet and pretty. with an extra dose of my fav baby breths! yayy

and he just blew his cover ytd. was secretly making a gift..then i called then his supervisor called to ask him to go out then he blurted out. so cute! love you my dear!

okiez..here is wishing everyone reading this blog..happy friendship day! with the exception of my dy: happy valentines and anniversary! muacks. =)

valentines' day is coming!

2008-01-23T11:32:00.001+08:00

valentines' day is coming! and so is our anniversary! ooh...but my poor darling will be overseas. =( sighz..AMD-amsterdam(n). lolz..haiz...love you!!!

everyday can be a valentine's day. =)

i want to travel!

2008-01-14T21:51:00.000+08:00

sighs...my dear is in manchester now! and it's our monthsary. miss him so much. he's going edinburgh tmr. that's like scotland. he's enjoying himself with new friends while i'm stuck in singapore with my busy schedule and i absolutely hate it.

i want to go explore the world too. cant wait to graduate. i enjoy learning but i hate exams and assessments.

i need a break. the hols wasn't enough.

alcohol

2008-01-13T22:04:00.000+08:00

i woke up with an irritating pain on all the muscles on the right side of my body. oh yes i recalled i was drinking last night..and slept really late cuz was cooling down...and i slept on the right side of my body.

3 hypotheses..

1) I had insufficient sleep, so body couldn't recover from training, and we crazily punched heavy weights at training.

2) I was cramping every muscle on my right cuz i was sleeping on my right, and probably the alcohol prevented me from moving though muscles were crushed.

3) alcohol converts into acetaldehyde in our body..then into lactic acid, adding on to the lactic acid load in my body..then sleeping on my right...with the help of gravity, the lactic acid accumulated on the right side and hence pain only at the right side.

oh let's not forget the fourth hypothesis...which is pretty ridiculous- i overtrained..but only on my right side. lolz

this leads me to wonder...is spiritual training ie drinking after sports training good for health? for many yrs karatekas have been doing that..well i think if any of it makes sense it helps to increase the lactic acid threshold of our body...after lactic acid from exercise we have lactic acid from alcohol..not to forget that alcohol contains lotsa empty calories..hmm..besides a beer belly is good cushion for absorbing punches eh.

sighz..anyway jady is on a loooong trip to manchester. and it din help that we parted on bad terms. but i guess at the end of the day everything will be fine. it's our monthsary in 2 hours time. *shouts:happy monthsary!* can you hear me from the plane? hehe. :P

nice pics

2007-12-31T17:13:00.002+08:00

here are some pics my darling took of me...it was like candid shots but turned out nice. haha..omg i look like a small kid. anyway we were waiting to watch AVP alien versus predator...was a crap movie i feel..everything was dark. the cinema, the alien and the predator. is like there is no good and bad and everyone or rather everything was killing everyone and everything. graphics were good i think...at least those parts that were not dark..lolz.

from a professional point of view i give it...3 popcorns. lolz.

meetings to end the year!

2007-12-31T17:13:00.001+08:00

woohoo..last sec school outing was fun..though it was warm like crazy and jie ying gotta leave early. we went to eat pasta mania and then cycle...and after that meeting i met up with piano ensemble members too. i'll let the pictures do their job.

eventful xmas

2007-12-25T11:31:00.000+08:00

this xmas is soo memorable. or rather the xmas eve.

i had driving from 105 to 305..then came back and gamed with my bf till like 7++ almost 8..because that stupid diablo boss-baal refused to die..and kept killing us...till we no more money to raise kakia..then i could only raise and raise my blood golem and the whole bloody fighting scene was sooo bloody cuz my golem kept dying....PIGU.then met at 845...ate at some new chinese restaurant at suntec...the xiao long bao was goood. the beef noodles so so...still the ding tai feng serves more tender beef.

then i got a pleasant christmas day surprise. secret. :P

then we went to the arcade..played cooking master!!! and i got like 16000 in the bonus round..a record high omg! and then tried some monkey throw fruit game that my bf was quite pissed about..cuz keep aiming wrongly..haha..and last but not least 2 rounds of basketball throwing..we scored 280 and 287!

ok then dessert...nydc...dunno what kind of mudcake is that it is not muddy at all..it was ICECREAM with one small layer of cookie between it la. on top vanila, bottom choc icecream. mud cake..haha...anyone seen WHITE MUD before? puut. anyway there was this soft toy there behind us..and we had a great time playing with it..there was music being played so my bf made it dance to the music! soo cute!

then esplanade..i was carried for like 30% of our journey there...and my bf tried to do some stunt of spinning me around him like a basketball..kaoz..failed.haha.and i sang all the way there! but he said my voice sucks. stupid. =( all was ok...we found a nice place to sit and by brought a really large white candle that can prob last thru the night..but this stupid malay policeman came and niao us...#$*(@&$)(*&^. spoiler la.

then we walked to the bus stop..and nightrider was 3 bucks...so we decided to walk home..we were prepared to take the looong way cuz the shortcut was blocked..then as we walked near suntec ew saw 133!!!!!! OMG! and so i ran in my killer heels...all the way..and he, in his long sleeved shirt...we ran and ran and ran...all the way to chijmes that side i think..and managed to even have time to wait for the bus...but at the cost of 2 blisters on each of my big fatttt toe. =(

exciting right? haha...great xmas, great company, great events! thank you for such a wonderful xmas!

bday party...

2007-12-16T11:39:00.001+08:00

havent been blogging for sometime..attended pearlin's 21st bday party yesterday. seemed so long after mine i felt so old.

was a good time to catch up with church friends..and good time to makan! food was ok.. afew funny things happened..

1. the 'B' dropped..so the decoration wrote 'happy day' instead of 'happy bday'
2. Pearlin's bro kept saying 1,2...and takes a photoshot without the '3'
3. The phototaking took so long the candles almost merged with the cake.
4. we focused on josh' mole to take a pic and he looked like pinichio.
5. Austin powers became an all time fav

the party was so so...little people..but at least it help alleviate my bad mood.

with expectations, come disappointments. why do humans have expectations in the first place?

is it worth it?

2007-12-06T20:38:00.000+08:00

Sighs..it's been an extremely looong day because i have been waiting for messages from my darling and he has been busy and he is angry with me so there werent many smses without arguments.

why must argue over small things like these i also dunno. so waste of time and energy.

how come these days he's becoming more and more difficult to deal with?

is it because of work? sighs..then in that case should i just let him fa1 xie4 a little? and not argue with him so much maybe?

anyways, on a lighter note, my darling uploaded my pics on his blog! so sweet..i'm very happy..thank you! =)

so many more pictures to be taken and uploaded. Dy pls don't let small things sour the relationship. really not worth it.

Love you. Must have trust in me. I wont disappoint you de.

finally

2007-12-04T21:29:00.000+08:00

OMG the exam is finally over. been ages since i blogged. Many things happened. Asian Pacific competition. I got bronze! haha..but i feel it's by luck.. japanese fighters are really good and they fight clean with good spirit. Chinese on the other hand plays technique and are irritatingly loud. THEY SCREAM, not kiai (shout). talk about screaming..i miss Cedar days..We are, we are cedar *screams* cedar *screams*..lolz anyway here are some pics...from the Hong Kong trip. Enjoy.

Me in red

Me in blue

Me in blue

Our food at mustafa

look at that OIL

The shaolin monks mastered our black belt kata in one day and performed it in synchrony!

With 2 japenese girls who gave us souveniors...they asked if we have any from singapore to exchange but we din..they gave us anyway..so nice =)

2 small japanese boys..two seems to be everyone's fav number

Me and darling at mustafa!!

My trophy!!

My dearest mummy who supported me all the way in the competition..beared with my grouchiness cuz i was sick..tried to bring me out to enjoy whenever i felt ok..and brought back delicious food for me. not to forget she spent her whole month's salary on buying tonics for me. really grateful to her.

Me and yvonne! at the farewell dinner...

That's me with the mascot..it's made of PAPER..you know those craze we had in singapore last time..using bus tickets to make cranes..something like that..

That's mum and i with Akane's father. she wasn't there as she had something on in school. She stayed at my house the other time when she came to singapore..

guess what...i finally finished blogging..the stupid internet explorer keep shutting down when i attempt to rearrange the pictues...it shut down like 10 times on me already...and i've spent the last one hour blogging.

stupid. how to rid morpheus toolbar?

Error

2007-11-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

The owner of the blog is almost burnt out from her hectic schedule. she will be back after everything is over. thank you for your kind understanding.

PUUUUT.

2007-10-30T13:41:00.000+08:00

screams! i'm sick AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN! how can that be!?

been haunted by studies and training man. who on earth will dream about herself getting thrombophlebitis spreading from the blue black she got from training. i must be mad..mad mad.

*witch's giggles*

freaky huh.

JIA YOU!

WTF

2007-10-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

omg pple guess what. it's my second time getting urticaria (an allergic reaction) due to alcohol. second time in a row! what happened man..i'm suddenly allergic to alcohol! argh! i hate this...cocktails are so yummilicious!

sad sad sad....devastated. =(
i want to drink.... =(

history repeats itself

2007-10-16T13:25:00.000+08:00

sorry friends. havent really been blogging. been busy recently. and....

I PASSED MY VIOLIN EXAM! omg I got 116...which is like...4 marks away from merit>?! woohoo man.

Here i would like to thank mummy for so patiently sending me to and fro violin lesson (though she would probably never see my blog). other pple, their parents fussed about them when they were young, sending them to tuition etc. but my mum never did that in the past. and now she does. i feel like a small girl again. happy happy but too grown up to show appreciation in childish ways. =( and she is sooo poorthing you know..must bear with my horrible playing and my small tantrums when i cant play some parts of the music. but she likes to tell me just try my best it's ok if i cant make it. through this i realised that i'm the one pushing myself, not her.

and i want to say thank you to my darling for supporting me..always encouraging me and trying to be there for me though busy.thank you for your effort though sometimes i can be too princessie. thank you for always consoling me that my results are already good enough.

sometimes i just wonder why i make life so difficult for myself by expecting too much from myself.

another point of reflection: mummy just sent me lunch. she had lunch with 4 male colleagues. then it suddenly struck me. why do i clique sooo well with guys rather than girls? maybe because i follow in the footsteps of my mum? is that why i feel that guys are more fun to be with than girls? or maybe i just don't like too girlish activities of group shopping etc. don't misunderstand, i have my healthy clique of female friends whom i will be there for when they need me and they have been tested and proven to be good friends. but we just do not contact each other so often. it's weird. it feels like we are all rainy day friends. haha. or probably i dont like what they usually do.

anyway i feel really blessed for all that God has given me. the relationships and friendships that i have. cannot be too greedy.

thank you pple for being part of my life! =D

2007-10-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

goodness...can you guys guess what is this pic about?

yes its what i saw on my way to grandma house for lunch.it's a DEAD rat that is already beginning to swell. it was raining heavily in the morning. and those white little things you see on the body? it's not hair lice of the rat...it's....MAGGOTS and worms! baby maggots!!! OMG. and somehow the stomach is sorta opened..can see all the intestines. i suspect someone killed it..how can they be so cruel?!

you know this leads me to think of world issues.initially i thought it was natural for pple to die during wars and get their bodies piled up.after this pic,i think twice.seeing the dead rat for myself was sooo traumatic.imagine seeing dead BODIES. it would be much worse.and how on earth can pple get USED TO seeing dead bodies like the newpaper reports of the war survivors?sigh.

guess what i still finished my bowl of rice (which is also white like the maggots). amazed. lolz. =)
(i'm feeling all itchy again now..is it the pic or mozzies?? ;p

2007-09-27T10:12:00.001+08:00

You Are An INTJ

The Scientist
You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.
In love, you are always striving to improve your relationship.You have strong ideas of what love should be like.
At work, you excel in figuring out difficult tasks. People think of you as "the brain."You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer. How you see yourself: Reasonable, knowledgeable, and competent
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Aloof, controlling, and insensitive

What's" Your Personality Type?

OMG i changed from an ENTJ to an INTJ. from an extrovert to an extrovert! man. what happened?!?!?!?!?! booooo.

why must things be like that

2007-09-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

i'm so saddened. a life person today can be gone tomorrow. an anticipated joy can end in tragedy. a person who was so insignificantly part of your life, so you thought, could have shared enough memories to make you cry at her demise.

God bless her soul. A mother-to-be, a mother for a moment. did she even see her child before she left the world?

if she had known she would die would she still have wanted this child? If her husband had known she would die would he still have wanted the child? how is her husband gonna face the child for the rest of their lives? is he gonna hate him? one might say no but how do you forgive a new person whom you havent interacted with, for taking away your loved one so abruptly. and poor child, what will he do without a mother's love since young? Will the husband remarry, and if he does, will she be upset looking from above?

So many questions in my mind now. i'm so flustered and affected. a motherly side of me wants to have children and nurture them. yet everyday i'm bombarded by so many illnesses i learn that can affect the child his/her whole life, and can affect me my whole life.

Do you know you can get diabetes from pregnancy and it's for life? you know there is a million and one things that can go wrong just because you are losing so much blood at childbirth and just cuz there are plenty of genes and all you need is one to go wrong and your baby is a stillborn, or has some incurable disease. Do you know how much bone density and nutrients your baby sap from you when you are pregnant?

I'm really sad. i'm sure most mothers would have gotten themselves ready. oh, maybe only few. how many actually go find out the million and one things that could go wrong before they have a kid. most are just so determined to have one and don't care about anything else.

i'm so scared. life is so fragile. cherish everyone in your life. do what you want to do. express your love and care while you still can. don't think a person is insignificant in your life. when he/she is dead, you will definitely find sweet memories that will make you cry and ask 'why didnt i get to know her better?'

Cheerios. Sobs.

i feel soooo neglected

2007-09-14T21:15:00.000+08:00

I dont like to have this feeling.

I've never felt this way before.

Why is it so now?

Neglect = neglect, no matter what the reason behind it is.

Was my social circle too small that I feel so alone now?

Has this social butterfly become so tamed?

Is it time to return to my old self?

I think i need more activities.

table tennis anyone?

this is disgusting

2007-08-01T04:03:00.000+08:00

argh! i'm sick again! again!!!! =(

trained hard last night when i was coming down with a sore throat...and now i'm up in the middle of the night cuz of my nose and throat...and my muscles are aching due to lack of rest...and my head is spinning due to lack of rest...and i'm disorientated due to lack of rest...

DISGUSTING.

And i'm eating oats now cuz i hungry, and i'm hungry cuz i am not sleeping.

does all these make sense? i'm just so not thinking.

sighs.....

CUTE GUYS

2007-06-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

OMG arent these 2 guys cuuuute?! wooohooooo!

2007-06-14T09:38:00.001+08:00

Your eyes say you're Sincerely Sweet

What Do Your Eyes Reveal?
Brought to you by Tickle

listening

2007-06-02T04:00:00.000+08:00

listening to a friend's advice (but actually mostly due to my plain laziness), i shall not run now. gonna sleep and aft tuition come home and violin before i leave the house. BOO.

soooo sleepy and i'm still up.

irritating. finished eating my maggi!

yawns.

angry

2007-06-02T03:08:00.000+08:00

i'm up now at like 3am cuz i'm sooo angry. angry about many things, with the same person.

she came back near 2am, when i happened to go to the washroom, in a semi conscious state (i was sleeping)

things that pissed me off
1) she is still wearing the stretchable shirt that i told her was mine this morning. and i don't like pple wearing my shirt without permission. if she had asked i would have lent her. but she din and happily wore it. still replied me 'ya' when i asked her again 'isn't this my shirt?'

2) when i'm half asleep she told me about an accident on the road. for goodness sake i'm half asleep and i have tuition tomorrow morning. it's just an accident can't you wait till like tomorrow when i am more sober?

3) i have told her dunno how many of tens that the pipe connecting her room tap runs right behind the wall at my head and she still slams the tap, making noise each time she does so. and you guys probably won't think so but i'm a super light sleeper..any slight movement or noise i will wake up.

4) she asked me if there was violin tomorrow. i told her twice already on seperate occasions that my dear violin teacher is busy this weekend and i've shifted the lesson to Monday. was she even listening or thinking when she asked me? i hate it when pple ask me repeated questions. especially for my schedule. as many would have known i'm a schedule freak. my limit is usually 3 but since i'm already pissed i was almost screaming this time...tho i've only told her twice.

so this is it. i can't sleep. and woke to cook maggi mee. man i've been eating lotsa junk. in the past day was double cheese burger, shaker fries, choc sundae, cuttlefish, CHEESEBALLS etc etc and so much more...the past week was really JUNK. now time to revamp my kitchen.

healthy things to buy and eat when hungry. (that will not cause gastric)
1) cha soba
2) milk
3) honey
4) egg
5) wheat slices + cheese
6) multivitamin
7) chocolates
8) energy bar

omg it's getting more and more unhealthy again. second nature already?!?! oh no!!!

ok this is my revised plan for later.
430am-6am : jogging at serangoon stadium. LONG JOG. would have wanted it to be longer but can't. time constrain, not stamina.
6-630am : cool down and bathe
630-8am : violin
8-815am: pack
815am: leave house for tuition
9-11am : tuition
11am-1pm : lunch + travel + shop
2pm : reach bugis national library (things to do: sleep, read then i dunno le)
at night maybe run again at east coast or dine and grandma's

i just dont want to be home so early! i'm still angry.

2007-05-13T10:16:00.000+08:00

just came back from taiwan! oh man was it boring. hmmm. but some nice pics..enjoy!

stuuuupong exam

2007-04-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

OMG i'm just dying. if i had known the syllabus for metabolism was THAT bad, i would have started earlier.

and our dear NUS exam organizers didn't have enough sense to seperate pharm practice and metab. it's like 2 major memory modules. i'm just gonna die man. someone, hurry discover how to build more brain neurons. deadline-by tues.

Save me!!!

the reaping

2007-04-29T00:23:00.000+08:00

omg the reaping ripped my heart out. it was so damn freaky. but a good plot..tho halfway i guessed it le...

the movie was supposed to be a reward for my studying...but somehow something happened and i spent my afternoon eating and reading magazines instead. lolz.

but nevertheless, a day well spent with a loved one.

Sunday 15/4

2007-04-15T08:41:00.000+08:00

today is a new day. a fresh start. welcome back old Mindy!

jia you wor..life is gonna be fun and exciting! =)

my darling's coming back tmr!

omg i'm sooo tired! slept at 4 last night wor...tired but somehow couldn't sleep..haiz.

teaching karate later...kids class...another HEADACHE!

First Cell

2007-04-15T01:53:00.000+08:00

just got back from prata shop..it was actually supposed to be a cell meeting but an informal one..

it was great getting together with many childhood friends. everyone changed alot. including me. some for the better, some for the worse.

i dont like the way i changed though. i cant really express it very well but i really want to be the old self that i was..outgoing..bubbly..etc...

i don't want to argue about the reason why i changed. i don't want to argue about how i changed. i just want to be back to my old self.

the past is past. there is only the future to look forward to. and it is important that i make the future right.

we all learn. good and bad. i havent failed in moulding my character. i just found a character that i don't want myself to be.

and from now on, i am that character no more.

soooo sleepy!

2007-04-13T16:36:00.000+08:00

OMG!

i slept for about 9 hours last night and just now when i came back from grandma's i was supposed to STUDY but ended up sleeping about 1 and a half hours!

why am i sooo sleepy...and keep feeling that muscles havent recovered from ytd's training...got train so hard meh....hai...wasted another day...woke late...happily went shopping...(tho got purpose for the shopping) then came home and SLEEP again?! and omg i even forgot to take my contact lenses out..wa lao.

groggy girl.

totally seh. haiz.

my face!

2007-04-10T22:40:00.000+08:00

omg omg! this is the FIRST time i get an abrasion on my face. got it elsewhere *ahem shall not review* but ONE MY FACE?!

stupid la. why kick at the same time and tilt towards the opponent's kick?

BEN4 right.

blah!

anyway i realised i havent been taking a good look at my face. haha...and guess what..i noticed other stuffs...

that i'm preeetty...oh that no need to mention..hehe...

was pressing my cheek and realised got BLUE BLACK also! stupid cheekbone so high i kena blue black there when i got a kick.

but i still love my pretty cheekbones..haha..ok so bhb huh.

and do you all know i have a MOLE on my face! omg..and thanks to me keep forgetting to put sunscreen it's getting BIGGER and BLACKER. everyone choruses *EEEEW*

and my acne scars still havent heal. talk about compliance? i'm a pharmacist to be and i am not compliant myself..lolz. pple, remind me to erase this post when i get my licence..haha

okok..so that's prettiness, blueblack, abrasion, acne scars, and moley mole. all in that small surface area (shall spare you guys the math)

i ought to look at my face in the mirror more often. i dunno what i'm missing out on my revelation! lolz.

oh i just said "I" so pple don't scrutinize my face the next time you see me.

just as David Wu, my lecturer (eh i address him like good friend hor? haha...) says..'you know it's hard to look at the person in the eye when he or she has this big pimple right smack in the middle of the forehead. it takes alot of concentration indeed, especially if the person is already so conscious of it that he/she goes to your pharmacy to get a pimple cream!"

well said.

Caffeine

2007-04-10T16:57:00.000+08:00

some interesting facts for coffee drinkers.

caffeine does not cause dehydration and can in fact me good for athletes?!
http://coffeescience.org/media/dehydration

caffeine does not lower bone density.
caffeine does not cause chronic hypertension.
http://www.ific.org/publications/qa/caffqa.cfm

now another article says otherwise:

It has been shown that caffeine consumption causes a slight and temporary rise in the level of calcium excretion leading to speculation that the use of caffeine could compromise bone health. Yet studies show that adequate calcium consumption offsets the potential effect of caffeine on bone density.

it is interesting that another article states that just 2 tablespoons of milk can offset the decrease in bone density.

oh btw pple are prescribed caffeine to combat tiredness etc...but these are the side effects...

anxiety or panic reactions•confusion•dizziness, lightheadedness, or fainting spells•fast or irregular breathing or heartbeat (palpitations)•muscle twitching•nausea and vomiting•seizures (convulsions)•trembling

omg that was what i had when i took coffeebean's beverage...belgium coffee i think..super thick with choc and coffee...but after that i felt like puking, dizzy, faint, fast irregular breathing, palpitations....plus A BAD HEADACHE!

so, i'm caffeine intolerant.

so desu, ne?

omg check this out
Alcohol is a depressant and when mixed with the caffeine (a stimulant) in the energy drink, symptoms can range from severe dehydration, insomnia, vomiting, nose bleeds and even cardiovascular and cardiopulmonary condition.

ooh lala

2007-04-07T17:26:00.000+08:00

lala...these are some pics we took like dunno how long back!! =)

playing with picaso.haha

2007-04-06T21:50:00.000+08:00

this is what i had for seafood dinner..forgot to take the pics of the crab cuz it came late and we had already started eating so i forgot to er...stop eating to take the pic. typical mindy right. haha..

total was 150++ quite ex. esp the cray fish which was like 55 bucks for 3...hmm..but we all had fun =)

bad nightmare

2007-04-06T08:12:00.000+08:00

does anyone get as affected by nightmares as i do? have you guys woke up and cried because you din like last night's 'sweet dreams'?

i just did and it's a terrible feeling. you want to try to prevent the nightmare from happening but in the real life, the person involved doesn't want to listen to you so there is a chance that it will happen in reality.

and if it does, i know my decision already. no buts, no second chance, it will be goodbye.

history and memories will be wiped out (no matter how hard) and the person will cease to exist in my life.

cruel as it seems, it will be the case if what i dreamt happens.

you've been forewarned.

不得不爱

2007-03-31T14:52:00.000+08:00

天天都需要你爱
我的心思由你猜
i love you
我就是要你
让我每天都精彩

天天把它挂嘴边
到底什么是真爱
i love you
到底有几分
说得比想像更快

是我们感情丰富太慷慨
还是要上天安排
是我们本来就是那一半
还是舍不得太乖

是那一次约定了没有来
让我哭得像小孩
是我们急着证明我存在
还是不爱会发呆
baby
不得不爱,
不知快乐从何而来
不得不爱,
放下悲伤从何而来
不得不爱,
否则我就失去未来
好象什么尤其不能自己很失败
可是每天都过的精彩

天天都需要你爱
我的心只有你在
i love you
我就是要你让我每天都精彩
天天把他挂嘴边
到底什么是真爱
i love you
到底有几分说得比想像更快

会不会有一点无奈
会不会有一点太快
可是你给我的爱
让我养成了依赖
心中充满爱的节拍

天天都需要你爱
我的心随有你在
i love you
我就是要你
让我每天都精彩.

18 days..

2007-03-30T09:54:00.000+08:00

my dear is in taiwan! =( my phone has been quite quiet...no sms tone...and when he calls there is so much to tell him but scared phone bill too ex..interesting things also cannot tell him..haiz..

but we are still bonded spiritually, and will continue drawing strength from each other for these 18days.

everytime i hear my mp3s...esp the songs he dl for me....haiz..

must jia you!train hard, study hard, play hard.

hurry hurry return....!

hate sch

2007-03-07T22:53:00.000+08:00

i really really hate sch.

and hate the fact that i'm chronically anemic.

i hate pills and more pills.

i hate feeling weak but want to train.

and i yearn so much to be like a gingko tree.

like he said, i must be strong.

strong..strong..strong.

everything's gonna be ok.

i hate school

2007-02-21T12:21:00.000+08:00

omg it's cny and there is so much work to be done! what sort of holiday is this man.

I'm getting irritated with school.

I hate school!

sweet sweet sound

2007-02-14T12:22:00.000+08:00

omg i finally got down to prac my violin with concentration.
n gonna play piano now.

gosh music is wonderful. can literally feel the mood of the music.

try watching a korean drama without the background music. you won't cry.

a sweet sweet sound in my ear. *muacks*

happy vday

2007-02-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

it's valentines day!
it's our 2nd anniversary!

so near yet so far.
so long yet so short.

it's a pity that we can't spend it together but nevertheless, it's our special day.

Thanks so much dear for the last 2 yrs, the good times and the bad. the cries and the smiles. the lessons we both teach each other. nothing can replace those times.

alone, but not lonely.

hai

2007-02-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

vicky is off to aussie to study engineering. seeing him leave, i have mixed feelings. for one, worry for the couple. long dist is not easy. two, a little missing him tho i don't really know him well, but he and my darling are very close so ya. and lastly, loads of jealousy cuz i want to study the course i want overseas so badly!

hai. life is just unfair.

tho i am blessed i must say. learnt and grew alot in the past two yrs in singapore. have pple around me to constantly guide me. mum, grandma, my darling, the seniors in karate blah blah.

but have i lost my dream forever?

i can't take it lying down like that. =(

i'm so touched

2007-02-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

omg i'm so touched. grandma was waiting for me at home. she has always been waiting for me at home. so nice to come back to a home where you know someone is waiting. with love.

she cooked my fav veg (i dunno the name), and a whole pomfret (one of my favs). i miss her foor. homecooked. sth i've not had for a long long time. we just watched vcd and she kept asking me to give up some stuffs so that i will not be overworked. so we just watched and watched and discussed about the show and cute actors. but it felt good. bonding silently.

before i left, grandpa came home. he din say much. just 'jia you', and that was good enough to make me tear. i love my grandparents.

"jia you"

school is so ^Y&#($@&^ busy

2007-01-30T22:23:00.000+08:00

omg i'm so darn busy. i hardly have time for myself, let alone family and friends. hai.

and despite all the stress i want to say a big thank you to mummy. she even asked me to give up a tuition if i must. and made a board of encouragement notes. *muacks*

and to my darling. who's been supportive tho we've been thru tough times recently. to be there. just his presence calms me (when we are not quarreling). love you my dear. *muackz*

and i want to say sorry to grandma. it's been long since i went over. and yes i miss my grandma tons. sobs. miss her home cooked, oily food. miss her smile, laughter, the way she just listens to all my complains and acknowledge, knowing that i just need a listening ear to get it all out of my head. no one understands that better than her. and no one can tolerate that better than her. love you ah ma.

i hate school. it deprives me of too much.

=(

school starting

2007-01-07T10:49:00.000+08:00

yuck...school is starting TOMORROW. tc pple. i might be too busy to blog le...unless i'm printing notes.

oh wait..that wil mean i've plenty of time to blog..cuz my notes are bloody thick.

URGH.

omg

2007-01-05T18:35:00.000+08:00

omg my second time blogging in a day.

i did housework today...yes all you spoilt kids out there...HOUSEWORK. packed place, vacuumed, mopped floor, washed dishes, fan, bathroom, did laundry, took down clothes, hung clothes..yada yada. all in 2 hours. call me superwoman. NOW.

lala...anyway i want to blog about my experience! let's talk about the floor. omg there was so much hair..i think i'm balding...eeew...and the scratches on my floor? i can't seem to rid it...haiz...and now the fan. dust is all the dead skin cells shed.n my fan is like totally submerged in it, washing it turned my entire bathroom BLACK. so..even when washing my bathroom was not in the plan, i had to..urgh.

so i'm balding like an old woman and shedding skin like i'm bathing in AHA acid. pls let me stop seeing such signs of aging..*screams*

good day my ooooooold frens (since i'm old i figured you, who are reading this, is old too)

BOO.

sch reopening

2007-01-05T08:41:00.000+08:00

omg sch is freaking me out..i woke this morning and was so worried about my CAP point...stupid 1st yr 2nd sem of 3.2 pulled down my CAP horrible and dashed my hopes of a 2nd upper honours. i'm damn bloody pissed about it..now still.very irritated. haiz...

but i want to thank my darling for sending me a virtual hug thru sms. dear you've no idea how much that meant to me.

i hate school..i want to stay home and be tai tai.hope that wish wil be fufilled someday.

great day to sleep, why am i awake? =(

been sleeping little and alot

2007-01-02T18:55:00.000+08:00

the past few days' sleep patterns were crazy! 31st was countdown...so went vivocity to watch death note 2, and then shopped, and went to lian's house to watch movie...slept at 430 or so..after which woke at 730 to leave for home, slept til about 11+. hmm. then on the 1st, which was...err..ytd, watched vcd late into the night, slept at about 3 and woke at 715 for bfast. came back n slept all the way til 1. bah. can someone calculate and tell me if i'm sleeping enough? can't really think.

cuz i'm dead. dead bored. he went to a friend's bday party whereby girls are not allowed..and mum is in malaysia.

damn it. maybe i should sleep.

Myths vs Facts

2006-12-22T14:05:00.000+08:00

did some research..here are the interesting results that i thought you guys, or more specifically, girls, would like to know..

Another common myth is that muscle gained during a strength training program will turn to fat once you stop strength training. Again, muscle and fat are two different tissues which are completely independent of each other. If you stop weight training, your muscles will shrink because the stimulus to increase or maintain their size is no longer there; but by no means can they, or will they, turn into fat.

If you feel your body is becoming less toned or, for lack of a better word, more “soft” it is simply because your proportion of fat to muscle has changed. Fat, although you may not have gained any more of it, is now dominant simply because you have lost muscle. Another possible reason for the change is a common problem that exists with many people, primarily athletes. The problem is that they stop exercising, but maintain their eating habits, and thus slowly begin to put on weight. If you had been exercising but stopped, be sure to make dietary changes to compensate for the decrease in daily energy expenditure.

oh btw whatever you achieve wil be lost in 3 months if you stop training completely. this is the principle of reversibility. sounds like good news to me..lalala.

but train hard pple.

boring

2006-12-18T13:56:00.000+08:00

i'm soo bored! someone accompany me go gai gai pls? =(

i'm in love with sleep.

2006-12-16T22:43:00.000+08:00

omg. i have been sleeping almost 9+ hours EVERYDAY..reading this book about how sleeping in the dark changes your body hormones, serotinin to melatonin.

cool book. includes physics, nutritional science, history (how we evolved), biology, microbiology, chemistry, politics..everything in one. and guess what. half the book is biblio.

really admire the author, being able to piece so much info from so many sources and summarizing them into one book. oh it includes evaluation on claims from WHO (world health organisation), as well as atkins and low fat diets.

worth the time reading. but seems ironic that i stay up to read when the title of the book is 'LIGHTS OUT'.

cheerios.