Wednesday, September 19, 2007
i'm so saddened. a life person today can be gone tomorrow. an anticipated joy can end in tragedy. a person who was so insignificantly part of your life, so you thought, could have shared enough memories to make you cry at her demise.
God bless her soul. A mother-to-be, a mother for a moment. did she even see her child before she left the world?
if she had known she would die would she still have wanted this child? If her husband had known she would die would he still have wanted the child? how is her husband gonna face the child for the rest of their lives? is he gonna hate him? one might say no but how do you forgive a new person whom you havent interacted with, for taking away your loved one so abruptly. and poor child, what will he do without a mother's love since young? Will the husband remarry, and if he does, will she be upset looking from above?
So many questions in my mind now. i'm so flustered and affected. a motherly side of me wants to have children and nurture them. yet everyday i'm bombarded by so many illnesses i learn that can affect the child his/her whole life, and can affect me my whole life.
Do you know you can get diabetes from pregnancy and it's for life? you know there is a million and one things that can go wrong just because you are losing so much blood at childbirth and just cuz there are plenty of genes and all you need is one to go wrong and your baby is a stillborn, or has some incurable disease. Do you know how much bone density and nutrients your baby sap from you when you are pregnant?
I'm really sad. i'm sure most mothers would have gotten themselves ready. oh, maybe only few. how many actually go find out the million and one things that could go wrong before they have a kid. most are just so determined to have one and don't care about anything else.
i'm so scared. life is so fragile. cherish everyone in your life. do what you want to do. express your love and care while you still can. don't think a person is insignificant in your life. when he/she is dead, you will definitely find sweet memories that will make you cry and ask 'why didnt i get to know her better?'
Cheerios. Sobs.
Just The Girl @
10:33 PM
